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  • Writer's pictureJules Arata

a day about love

“let not our longing slay our appetite for living” -Jim Elliot

lately people have been telling me about just how great the season of singleness is, citing Paul and Jesus' lives as examples of how a life unmarried is not a life unfulfilled. quoting numerous authors, saying observations one after another about the perceived "benefits" of this time. and while i know they are just trying to be encouraging and supportive, most of the time this advice comes from someone who is not in that season.

its typical during this holiday season (which in my book spans from october through february) to be overwhelmed by new relationships starting, people getting engaged, and just a lot of love. and if you are single during this time, it can be hard. hard to be genuinely joyful while watching your friends go through seasons you wish you were in. you can be hard on yourself, trying to figure out why you aren't at that place too.

i am not a stranger to singleness, but lately it feels as though i am finally reaping those "benefits", learning a lot about myself and leaning into growth. for a long time i feel as though i saw the season as something to try to get out of, constantly searching for that person to "rescue" me and end the season. back to that quote from Elliot, it can be so easy to get caught up in that longing that you can forget to live fully. it can preoccupy so completely as to distract from the place you are in and person you are right now.

but hey, remember i am a romantic, not a cynic. this is not an anti-valentine's day post.

for a long time, i was not a valentine's fan, i mean the holiday is made up and when you don't have someone to spend it with, it seems pointless. and yeah, i felt that way until junior year of college. at the time, my entire friend group was single, so when february 14 came up, my best friend and i decided to plan a party for our friends. none of us had any plans, so why not order a heart shaped pizza and hang out at my house? we had seen "galentine's" become popular on Parks & Rec, so we decided to call it "pal-entine's day".

a day to celebrate those pals that you love. the ones that make your days brighter, your laughs fuller, your conversations deeper, your smiles brighter, your heart feel known.

so maybe the "season of singleness" is not about finding that romance, or about falling in love with yourself. maybe it is about finding those people. the ones who truly care. the phone calls you can't wait to have. the texts that make you giggle. the hugs that you feel down in your soul.

to me, today is a day to celebrate the love in your life, no matter what form.

so happy palentine's / galentine's / valentine's day or whatever you celebrate. and if you don't, that's okay. go outside and look at how beautiful the moon looks tonight.

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